What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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