You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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