I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
