I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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