Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
