I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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