Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
