my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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