have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
