I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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