jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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