what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
