i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
