My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
