To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
