things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
