Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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