I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
