Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
