Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
