U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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