As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
