He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
