I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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