i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
