at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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