You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
