He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
