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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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