someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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