Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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