his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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