Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
