Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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