i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
