ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
