I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
