so that wasnt chicken after all
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
