You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
