I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize