I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
