You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Drunk is not a location!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
