is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
