Sry I called you an 8
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
