she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
