Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
