4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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