I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
