We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
