I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
