We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
