k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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