I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
