I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
