I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just want nice things and good sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
