Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
