I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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