I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
