we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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